posted:2 hours ago, 1012 notes

ONE TIME MY PARENTS WENT TO GO GET PIZZA AND MY DAD WENT TO THE BATHROOM AND MY MOM FORGOT HIM AT THE PIZZA PLACE AND CAME HOME AND STARTED EATING THE PIZZA AND THEN WONDERED WHERE MY DAD WENT AND THEN REMEMBERED HE WASN’T IN THE CAR ON THE WAY HOME
if you want my legs to be shaved every day then you can do it for me and ill see how long it takes for you to not care anymore
(Source: ayoson)
when i’m married my partner and i will have:
- morning sex
- afternoon sex
- dinner sex
- after meal sex
- i made pancakes sex
- good morning sex
- they kids are at school sex
- shower sex
- bored sex
- make up sex
- break up sex
- obama won sex
- romney lost sex
- monday sex
- tuesday sex
- wednesday sex
- thursday sex
- friday sex
- saturday sex
- monday sex
- there is nothing on tv sex
- i love you sex
what about sunday
sunday is the lord’s day praise jesus
(Source: joesphjonas)